“We cannot know the depth of Jesus’ love unless we are willing to face the fact that he knows us completely.”

That’s a quote I read this morning, from a brief bio of Jesus’ disciple John who later became an Apostle. Doesn’t get much better than Apostle, in terms of honorable positions in God’s world (did you notice the capitalization? Apostle vs disciple – told you… big deal). But don’t start assuming this guy had it all figured out and if only you could too. No way – in my grandpa’s words, that’s rubbish!

John was kinda known for being… emotional… especially with his temper. I can relate.

Sons of Thunder. What an identity to be known by! That’s the actually nickname Jesus gave to John and his brother James. (Aren’t nicknames a sign you’re accepted “on the team” and “cool”?) Remember that for yourself as we continue on.

John loved passionately and he fought passionately. Once there was a town that refused to welcome Jesus with open arms; John asked if he could rain down fire from heaven onto that town. That’s pretty hardcore, if you ask me.

We cannot know the depth of Jesus’ love unless we are willing to face the fact that he knows us completely.

I have become exceedingly comfortable in my own skin over the past 2 years. I’ve become much more comfortable with the thoughts in my head, even the dark ones.

This has created a sort of carefreeness in my attitude and a greater humility, especially in my treatment and patience with others. Kind of like a tree-hugging zen master… not that I’m there but to give an idea of the direction I’m headed. And honestly, it feels really good.

As an adult, I came to faith in Jesus and began to believe that he died for my sins. I believe he is my only shot at salvation. I believe he knows me personally. That includes knowing what’s up with this funky bald spot I developed in my early 30s that hasn’t gotten worse (yet). And I believe he knows the dirtiest, darkest, most destructive thoughts and deeds I’ve ever had, all of them.

I have laid out all my secrets to God voluntarily as well, by choice. I did this because I trust what I believe to be true about Jesus–you know, that he unconditionally saves anyone that would come to him in faith… rules and rituals not required.

I believe that. I would like to think I’d even take a bullet to the forehead for that belief. That’s Jesus.

Here’s the power: I trust that Jesus died for me while I was “lost” in my own sin.

He knew. The whole time.

He knew… before I did.

He knew, whether I was going to admit it out loud, tell anyone, or even be honest with myself about who I was.

Now, logic simply says, what do I have to lose here? He already knows! And STILL he has died and rose up from death so that I, Adam Konopka, could have a share in Heaven with him once my physical life hits the bricks.

To continue on, “hiding” from God for whatever reason is so ridiculous to me that I can barely put to words how dumb I believe it is.

I have 4 kids. I remember when they were babies/toddlers. They would cover their eyes with their hands in an effort to “disappear” right in front of me. (Don’t all kids do this?) Basically, it’s Peek-a-Boo, right?

I played along. They giggled and laughed uncontrollably.

That is how I picture adults who think they’re hiding from God. Ridiculous. Especially the image I get in my head. LOL.

Check this out though: Jesus is directly in front of you, like me with my kids… playing along… for now.

You think you need to hide from him, like he doesn’t know. C’mon, seriously?

This isn’t some “you’re not getting away with anything”, condemning or shaming sort of message.

This is God’s encouragement to you that “It’s okay. I already know! That’s actually why I’m here for you. Stop trying to hide. It doesn’t work. You’re not a baby. I see you. I love you. I died for that nonsense that you think keeps you away from the depth & warmth of my love, which contains more freedom than you can imagine.”

(Okay, I’m taking a little liberty on what God is actually saying to you BUT I promise that’s the gist)

This is a matter of faith. You choose to engage this belief or not. I believe it.

My life is positive undeniable proof of this truth.

(Not too long ago I was dying from IV drug abuse, divorced and broken)

We cannot know the depth of Jesus’ love unless we are willing to face the fact that he knows us completely.

I believe Jesus knows all the darkest things about me.

I believe Jesus knows things about me I don’t even know that could be too dark for me to handle… you know, like the potential for wickedness of the human heart. I’m open to that possibility because I know how limited we are in conscious awareness in this human body.

But I believe in him… more than anything else.

And because of that, I have begun to experience the real depth of his love.

Jesus is my identity. I’m growing in this belief every day. He is in me and flows through me. I don’t have this on lock yet but am well on my way.

That’s tremendously internally inspiring… and calming. What confidence I am developing!

Because of that, I don’t give a crap about trying to hide anymore. Hide?! For what?! The ultimate authority (which, by faith, I believe he is) has called me “good to go”, plus he’s doing his thing through me, even when I get in the way and screw up.

There is an art to getting your life to this place. The Jews call it Hokmah, or the art of godly living. And it ain’t about being a “good boy” or a “good girl”, that’s more ridiculousness.

(This is also how I’ve overcome being concerned about peoples’ opinion of who I am, the message I share, or how I conduct my life. Simply put, God’s on my side, who are they?)

If we were at a club and you and I were trying to get backstage, Jesus says, “It’s okay guys, they’re with me”. Done deal. Because you and I would be leveraging his identity to get in when our own doesn’t make the cut. Get it?? And yes, Jesus hung out in those circles.

The question I’ll leave you with is… are you joining me backstage? The building is filled with people of “faith” but only those willing to lay it out before him get access to the inner sanctum aka “backstage”.

Or are you going to keep playing Peek-a-Boo, like you’re a two-year-old, trying to convince that tiny voice in your spirit that you’re actually hiding from him?

Your call. He’s ready any time you are.

Freedom awaits. Right now.

@AdamKasix
Apollo Beach, FL