Toughness is taught, so is Softness
This concept could be the #1 indicator of whether or not you will live a life of fulfillment or aimlessly drift along the wishful hoping train.
As parents, it’s our job, if we are truly loving, to ensure our kids meet real life as equipped or over-equipped as possible.
We can see little Johnny get hit in the back with a baseball and run to him, hug him and pull him from the game (conditioning him that there’s something wrong and to retreat).
Disclaimer: We’re not talking life or limb here. Don’t be ridiculous.
Option 1: We can say “Awww, poor baby”, pet their face, get them ice cream and “protect” him/her, ensuring we teach them how to be a quitter, as we’re producing fully unequipped adults to one day have their ass handed to them by the world.
Option 2: We can PRAISE them for taking a shot and encourage them to, “Get back up now. I know you’re you’re hurting/bleeding … but God trusted YOU with this because you’re tough as nails … now let’s go, you got this!”
I can’t count how many young men and women (all ages up to about 30 or so) shake hands with a complete wet noodle of a soft chubby piece of flesh that they simply lay in my hand. Gross.
What the hell do I do with this thing? Is it a squishy ball? Is it for emotional therapy?
I always let go of it feeling a little grossed out.
Plus, I’m wondering since I grabbed theirs firmly, am I going to have charges of assault filed against me?
We know pain is necessary for growth (think fitness, school, quality marriages, anything worth anything) yet, when our kids get black eyes, hit by baseballs, or puncture wounds in their foreheads (that’s my youngest at 6 years old) or even scrape skin off their bodies when they fall … what do most parents do?
They rush to pick them up, caress their faces and take them inside for a popsicle or some other offering to further condition a false idea… that when life hits you’ll always get scooped up, held gently and provided an award for it.
I assure you this, those kids, the ones that way too many parents are producing, will be DESTROYED by the kids that parents like me and others are producing.
In other words, Mr. & Mrs. Softy, your kid doesn’t stand a chance in the real world … and you did it to them, out of “love” of course.
It’s way past time we accept the fact the struggle and friction produces RESILIENCY and it’s the ONLY way to build real strength, emotionally, physically and most importantly MENTALLY.
So that day they experience a hurdle in real life, they’ll be ready for it and know that it’s a NORMAL part of life and nothing else
The hurdles are there to be jumped, not SUBMITTED to.
I love watching kids get babied because I know that’s just another one that my kids will have no concern about as potential competition in the economy.
They definitely stand zero chance in business.
Those kids are destined to lose before they start unless they themselves have an awakening and then they’re gonna realize how bad their parents screwed them for real life.
I was taught toughness and not to whine… it took a while for it to sink in my thick head.
We teach our kids toughness for sure, and that includes me wrestling and hitting them probably a little harder than I should.
My hands are relatively tough due to calluses I’ve developed not wearing gloves in the gym.
The friction against my palms for the last few years has DEVELOPED A PROTECTIVE LAYER that GUARDS my hands now.
But early, yes, there was pain. That’s the price of future protection, rather than “protection” now and future weakness.
Bruises are good.
Battle wounds are great and glorious.
Scars tell cool stories.
Let your kids “suffer” through their battles, while you’re next to them ENCOURAGING them to be strong and “you got this” and “you’re super tough”.
You’ll find a much less ENTITLED little jerk, and a more compassionate, respectable and empathetic person, as they grow a hard skin, soft heart and a will of character that NO ONE (including their own mind) can deter when they go after a goal.
To this day, my daughter thanks us for not letting her stay off a horse that bucked her off when she was ALMOST 6.
She’s very tough and I’m proud of that but more importantly, I know she’s gonna respond appropriately when life knocks her to the ground.
Because IT WILL. It always does.
The moral: teach your kids toughness so they can have a shot in life … geez, do we really have to teach this stuff?
**Check out these pics (Facebook post)
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